Marriage is the biggest step in a person’s life; it is believed to be a union of two souls. But what if something bad happens under this tie, what if a person is ill-treated, degraded, abused, made to feel worthless and in constant fear of his or her life. What could we expect of such a marriage? I find it really very ironic as to how barbaric we can go, calling ourselves civilized at the same time. According to reports one in every 5 women in the world have experienced domestic violence at the hands of their husbands and this number is just from the reported cases. Also, such violence is not only limited to women but to men and children too and we don’t find enough cases due to societal pressure. I am not just blabbing anything, this is the reality of today’s world. This is what we have become.
The term, domestic violence is very hard to define, I think it cannot be defined in the literal sense because it is like no other crime, it does not happen in a vacuum, it does not happen because someone was in the wrong place at a wrong time, I say it’s hard to define because it happens in the most sacred territories, it happens in the place where we are supposed to be loved, it happens in our very homes and families. The most disgusting and disturbing part about it is that it’s the violence by someone we know, it’s the violence by someone who claims to love us, it’s violence by someone, we love. And that’s one of the reasons it goes undetected most of the time.
The biggest problem is that the most abusive man simply doesn’t seem like abusers. They do have various good qualities, they are kind at times, they are supportive, they have good humour, and people might have a great opinion about them, they might even be successful with their work and without any drug or alcohol problem. But it’s hard to know what goes in a person’s mind and sometimes they end up abusing and hurting the people they care about the most and due to their good attributes and love, their wives do not complain about them, they just adjust with them and go with the flow.
Talking about the past, due to the show of power and authority, domestic violence was accepted as a man’s right on women, and the same is considered now, I don’t understand why, but man has always considered their wives as a property, they have never treated them as equals and believed that they were entitled to treat them as they want, but I think women are equally responsible for the same, the reason being they never raised voice against their male counterparts. If they would have raised their voices then, the practice would have been stopped a lot earlier.
Domestic violence has severe consequences, as its victim may feel, isolated, depressed, suicidal, humiliated, worthless, without confidence, degraded and suffers from mental pain and agony, which clearly violates his or her basic human rights. This problem of domestic violence should be taken care of and should be eradicated from society as soon as possible, the governments of different countries have taken different measures to stop such practices. There are various laws enacted which punish such abusers and also there are various rescue houses and NGOs working to help and support such victims, but this is not enough. Domestic violence is not a crime as such, it’s a mental problem and studies have found that children who grew up in homes, where physical violence is prevalent are more likely to use violence in later life because a child is socialized into accepting violence as a means of resolving conflict or gaining control if that is what they are witnessing at home. This could lead to problem in his later intimate relationships. A child who sees his mother beaten and disrespected might grow up with the idea that all women should be treated that way because the goal of violent act finally is to gain power.
So if we really need to fight this problem we need the victims to come out openly, share and discuss their issues and get the abusers punished. It is also the duty of every single one of us to support such victims the way we can. There are various helplines available, and in case anyone feels that they are being abused, they should call for help immediately, women need to fight for their dignity because it’s now or never. Domestic violence though may be an internal matter but it affects the entire society. As a human, it’s our duty to spread love and peace and not to gain power over others. We are all made equal and deserve to live with dignity. I want every single one of us to remember that every storm eventually runs out of rain. Where we are in life is only a season and not a life sentence, seasons pass and so will our problems, we just need to thrive for their eradication, we need to fight them and create this world an amazing place for everyone.