Hi guys! It’s been a very long time since I wrote something, but today I decided to share with you all the one personal development habit that changed my life. Ever since I was a kid I was in the habit of creating timetables and tasks, but the only problem with that was that, I was sluggish and the only thing that I was able to do with my entire planning was framing a timetable. I was stuck in this time loop of creating endless timetables and not acting up on that, but then I changed something, and it completely changed my life. And today I am gonna talk about it.
Over the past few years, I have tried doing various things to make myself a better person, be physically and mentally strong, do something good for the world and be the best version of myself, but I failed every single time. I failed until I found something that had the biggest impact on my life, and it was talking to me. I guess it was because of this feeling to do something and get guidance from someone who knows everything about me, that I was able to write my first book called The Ruins of the Crown and start with my startups.
A few years back, I began engaging in self-reflection and self-talk. Initially, I had doubts about its effectiveness, but soon, I discovered that it was a valuable tool for processing my thoughts and emotions, assessing my personal growth, and setting future goals. This practice has had a profound impact on my life. You might say that we all engage in internal conversations, while others might believe it to be unusual, but what’s truly intriguing is that we often seek someone to converse with, and sometimes that someone happens to be us, ourselves.
What’s fascinating about us as humans is that we often engage in self-talk without even realizing it, typically categorizing it as regular thinking or overthinking. And then there are people like myself who intentionally have conversations with non-existent entities. When people observe me talking to thin air or my reflection in a mirror, it might seem eccentric, and yes, it is unconventional and weird. But, what they do not recognize is that this practice holds the potential to address around 90 percent of their problems. Allow me to explain. There are two primary forms of deliberate self-talk: talking with oneself or conversing with an imaginary friend, perhaps a higher power or a divine figure in the guise of a friend or a crush/celebrity etc. If you’re reading this, I’d like to ask you to take a moment of honesty with yourself and think about the past. Think about those moments when you were going through challenges, feeling lonely or unhappy, and had no one to turn to. In times of desperate need, what did you do? The answer is quite simple: you spoke to yourself or possibly prayed to a higher power, believing that someone was listening to your problems and could offer help. This often brought a sense of relief, making your heart and soul filled by bliss.
However, the most basic problem with this situation is that sometimes we find ourselves talking with an imaginary friend we’ve conjured up. It can be quite enjoyable, but we are afraid of revealing everything even to this imaginary friend. The hesitation comes from the fact that we are well aware this person exists solely in our imagination. And secondly, this imaginary friend embodies someone whom we desire the most, and as a result, we yearn for them to view us as flawless. We treat them as our closest confidant, yet certain secrets remain hidden. These hidden and painful conversations are tucked away, shielded from prying eyes. Then, when something occurs that causes sadness and that pain resurfaces, we often find ourselves returning to our imaginary friend, laying blame on someone or something. But what we don’t realize is that most of the time it’s not the situation or the person that’s hurting us but we ourselves are overthinking things and trying to find peace and solace with our imaginary friend and we end up talking negatively about everything around us, in turn, we start to find this imaginary friend unhelpful and one thing leads to another and the end result is depression.
Talking to self is a good thing but if not done properly it’s the worst thing that someone could do. Because when positive talks can make you strong and help you attain bliss, the negative thoughts lead to self-harm and suicidal thoughts and it could mess up a person really badly, therefore it becomes imperative to find the correct way to talk to oneself. And I am going to share with you my journey, which made me a completely different person.
Firstly, if you talk to yourself by conjuring an invisible friend, then I suggest you should also start having a chat with yourself ( not to an imaginary friend but yourself as you are right now) as well and if you don’t talk to yourself then during the time when you need someone’s opinion or words of wisdom then instead of asking them, ask yourself first as to what do you think should be your next move or what you need to do. You will get your answer. When you start doing so, it will be a bit difficult in the beginning, but with time, you will be more clear on what to do. Secondly, instead of having just one imaginary friend, have many imaginary friends and share different things with them. This will boost up your confidence and make you more clear on the things happening around you.
Thirdly, when you talk to yourself make sure that you are talking to yourself and be 100 per cent brutally honest as you already know all your dark secrets that no one else does, and therefore lying to yourself would not do you any good. Practicing this will help you be in touch with your feelings and at the same time asking for your own opinion will give you an idea about what to do and what not to do. This practice can be a real lifesaver in tough situations. For example, if someone’s hurting you, it can help you figure out what to do about them. Similarly, when you’re crushing on someone, it can give you answers about whether to approach them or not. Your inner self can sort out if it’s just a passing infatuation or real love, and if pursuing it will bring you happiness in the long run or a heartache. It’s like having a chat with your own inner guru, helping you see into the future by asking these questions.
I know I have deviated from my chain of thought, but I gotta finish writing this. It’s hard to write something randomly when you are out of practice, but to briefly tell you what I did, I began by setting aside a few minutes each day for a heart-to-heart with myself. Whether I did it in the morning to set intentions for the day or in the evening to reflect on my experiences, self-talk became a valuable habit, and I used to do it mostly when I walked. Walking and talking to myself was like having my own personal therapist, and it made me feel free enough to talk about even my darkest thoughts without the fear of being judged. During the exams or any tough decisions, talking to myself gives me a boost on my self-confidence. Seeing me wish myself luck or giving myself self-assurance helps me write my answers or do my tasks in a more confident and appealing way. During my time of need, I become my most trusted advisor and friend, and I get clarity as to what I gotta do and how.
In a nutshell, talking to myself is the one personal development habit that has changed my life. It’s easy, free, and accessible to anyone willing to give it a try. By adopting this simple practice, I’ve become a more self-aware, confident, and solution-oriented person. I’ve found a dependable source of encouragement and resilience within myself.
So, if you’re looking to make a positive change in your life, consider starting your own self-talk journey today. It might feel a bit unusual at first, but with time, you’ll discover its incredible benefits. Give it a shot and let me know how it goes. Talking to self truly is a life-changer!