Saying goodbye is one of the most difficult things in the world, but there come a lot of occasions when we do have to say goodbyes, to the people we love or we care about, either for perpetuity or for a certain period of time. And the most disturbing thing about these goodbyes is that it comes at a time when we least expect it. Even I have faced a lot of goodbyes in my life, the most disturbing one was the passing of my maternal grandma (Nani), but that’s the cycle of life and the hard reality. We sometimes get ghosted by our friends, the very close ones. But it’s okay we do have to move on. We have to live with the memories we made together. Not only that but at a certain age, we do have to leave our home as well. We do have to move out, for making our careers, for creating an impactful life and explore the world. I am writing all this because I am kind of feeling homesick, I am not only missing my family but also Nainital, the place I love the most.
My vacations just got ended and I just moved back to Delhi a few days ago. Though I didn’t want to but I have to because I was in Nainital for the last two months. The thing is it isn’t easy to be in a new environment, we do have the same routine but done in an unfamiliar environment, everything feels different, looks different, smells different and the entire soul and body cry out that it wants to go back home. But the word home kind of sounds funny because we do have a place to crash at night which we call home, but it is nothing like the place we used to live in. People, they look the same but they sound different, and even it rains differently. We try to find anything which could remind us of our home but then we adjust and we try to find a new meaning for the word home. We try to find comfort in whatever we could and we make new friends, new memories, new ideas, we discover new places. We realize then when we will go back home, our stories about the new places will be interesting and enjoyable. But still home is the place where you feel you belong the most, the place where you feel you are loved the most and the place that we miss the most.
Ah! I don’t know why I am writing all this but it helps me unburden my heart. These last few months have been the best time of my life. I for the first time explored Nainital, made new friends, did what I enjoy the most and it was the best time ever. When I should be doing internships ( I am a law student and everyone in my class did one ) I was busy making short films, conducting acting workshops and enjoying the beautiful sceneries of Nainital. I had the best time of my life in conducting these acting workshops and talking with students that I worked with. I get to learn a lot of new things and for the first time in my life saw various places which I never knew existed. I am going to miss everything because now I am gone.
Time passes so fast that it never gave me a chance to realize that I have to go back to Delhi. On 30th July, my last day in Nainital I was too sad to think anything and on the 31st the day I left my entire soul was crying out. The time I hugged my mother before I left Nainital I was crying internally, I was controlling my tears because I don’t want to look weak. The moment my dad left me and the last time I waved my hands at him, my eyes were full of tears. I realized that I am not going to hear all those scolding, all those stories and concern again until I go back home, which isn’t happening for the next few months, I am going to miss everyone who made my time interesting, my friends, my students, my family, everyone.
I know I am going to feel homesick for a few more days but it’s important to get out and explore the world. It’s important to make new friends and find new places. And after all the people who care the most about you will only be happy when they see you getting prosperous and happy. Even with all the hardships and goodbyes, the life is still amazing because the more hardships you face, the stronger you become.
