Somehow Less Lonely

 Have you ever felt alone? Have you ever felt as if a part of you is missing, maybe someone you used to talk to every day, someone you were very close to, is no more with you? Have you ever been sleepless? Has it ever happened to you that you are surrounded by so many people but you don’t have anyone to talk to, that there is no one to listen and no one who would care? Or maybe you are hurting physically or emotionally, you are facing hard times, you are experiencing something like a life-changing loss, your body is giving up, your thinking is distorted, you have to make some major decisions or major changes but you are overwhelmed with confusion and the worst part of all you don’t have anyone to turn up to. Well, the thing is that we have all faced it at some point or the other.

The thing is that we are born alone and we die alone but we are born wholesome, we are just a perfect piece of perfection in ourselves, we are full but then, unfortunately, we are made to believe that it is not enough. Everyone around us starts telling us lies like we will never be good unless we find someone who will cure us, someone who will take care of us, someone who will help us to be a better person and someone who will complete us, and believing in all these lies and the standards set up by society we go along to find the one who is gonna make us and our life meaningful and we end up getting hurt. We end up crying and hating ourselves because we don’t fit in the society’s definition of good and perfect.

I know, that I am being a bit way too extreme because it is not always the case, the people we meet are not always there to hurt us and that is definitely true but only till the time, we are gratuitous of having that person in our live’s because emotional hurt is not something that is caused by an external factor it is mostly caused by how much we let the circumstances affect us. Let me be a bit blunt, whenever we feel alone or lonely or kind of broken we start blaming other people ( mostly the one who we think is the reason behind that loneliness) but the thing is no one and I repeat no one in this world could make you broken or lonely or alone unless you want them to. No one can do magic on you that will make you kinder, sweeter, focused or the opposite of these, it is all on us to be the way we want to.

Now there will be some manipulative and toxic people out there who will show you fake emotions like love and care and maybe will shed some crocodile tears about how unfair their lives were before they met you and then once you lower your guard they will get into your bones and once you are caught in their trap they will start to manipulate you the way they want you to. They will then make you do things that you are uncomfortable doing, they will blackmail you, they will scare you about the outcome if you did not do their bidding and you thinking that you have no choice will unwantingly do those things that you would otherwise not have done and you will start to live by their rules, this is what happens in most toxic relationships, isn’t it? But the main reason for all that happening is not that toxic person that you met but it’s you. You thought that letting them go will make you lonely and alone when in reality you let go of the wholeness that you were born with.

There will also be people who will make you feel the happiest you have been, they will share your pain, they will make you laugh and with them, you will see the beauty of the world. With some, you will even fall in love and with the one spend your entire life with, they will be there to join the broken pieces of your heart and make you feel less alone. Even when they will no longer be a part of your life they will make you self confident and the whole you once were. Such kind of friendship is the miracle in life that will make the world less tolerable and would make it seem less lonely. These are the friendships that need to be cherished. But still the cautionary remark, you cant forget yourself even though you feel the luckiest you have been. Because it is not them who is making you feel all that, it is all your perception with regards to life, they are just there like a catalyst who is making that process a bit easier.

We are mere humans, we have our own flaws and shortcomings. But as Aristotle said, “A man is a social animal.” We can’t exclude ourselves from society, we have to go and live along with the people around us. We sometimes have to go through the rules set out by them and we definitely need them, we also need to have those negative moments and emotions, those are the one that makes us feel more human. We need to have that envy, that greed, that sorrow, that love because we can’t call ourselves if we are not full of these emotions ( and now I think I have started to deviate from the topic) but the point I am trying to make is that it is completely okay to feel lonely at times. It is completely okay to feel left out, to feel surrounded but not cared and we need not be afraid of them. We should instead accept our vulnerabilities, we should accept the fact that we are alone but it does not mean we are incomplete. We always have our dreams and aspirations to guide us, we have our goals, a bucket list that we want to tick off and the reason we are brought to this world is still yet to be discovered by us but we all are already working towards finding it. Waiting for someone to come and makes us better is just an excuse to not take the risk that wanted to. If you love someone just tell them what you feel. If you want to write a book just write it down, if you want to be a singer, sing a song and share it with the world, don’t care about what anyone would think of it, it’s your life and you have to shape it. You are never alone you are always surrounded by so many opportunities, it’s just a matter of jumping on that opportunity.

I think I am deviating a lot now, so let us move towards concluding this. As I was saying we believe that love and only love can heal our brokenness, it is the only thing that will make us fulfilled, finding that particular person will solve all the problems we have in life, but that is simply not true. I know love is something that we all crave, and not just us but every single living organism in this world crave love, we all want to love and be loved. But if we find the love when we are broken, we will again depend too much on the person to complete us and in that, we are most likely to feel more broken and lonely. We need someone in our life, that is true but isn’t it also a reality that we already have the people we need. We have our parents, who love nothing more in the world than us, we have our friends who understand us and makes us feel loved and comfortable around them. We all do have some people in our lives who love us, so how could we ever be lonely?

I know that feeling of loneliness is something that we all feel at some point or the other and we simply can’t let it go, it’s natural to feel that, it is okay to feel left out and alone, it is okay to think the world is ending on you but what’s not okay is to lose hope, it is not okay to give up, it is not okay to run from our problems, it is okay to feel that you are not loved. Remember that no one in this world is under the obligation to love you other than yourself. It has to be you who loves yourself the most. We should remind ourselves that we are complete no matter what. We should remind ourselves that if we were not complete, then God would have never sent us alone in this world. We have to be the ones to fight all our demons and situations, even the caterpillar goes through his situation all alone to be a beautiful butterfly ( It seems to be a good line to write but honestly speaking I find butterflies scary when I look at them closely). So we should remind ourselves that we are already complete and we have opportunities and goals and we have people who want to see us prosper so the best thing we could do is to enjoy our lives with or without someone because we have an idea about we want to live as, and that is more than enough to make us feel somehow less lonely.

Finally, I would like to conclude this blog post and my thoughts by thanking my dear friend Anuja for sharing this amazing topic to write about. I would love it very much if you all could leave me an honest feedback and suggest to me some further topics to write on. Wishing you all a good and happy day. See you guys soon.